i miss the hum of your heart; i miss the silent stutter of your laughter.

and in that it's impossible to express just in how many ways missing you has become what i now am. i have missed so much of you that i am now missing myself. there is nothing anywhere right now other than the things i mourn. there could be so many places you cannot have, and there could be so many things you never breathe in. but there is not, the missing is all that's left here. my heart is ugly and you are not here to tell me how beautiful she is.
-always always R.